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10 (A GOLDMINE )

 

Hi guy’s. I am back. You missed me I am sure. It’s only been a week but I am addictive. So lets get on with it .This time around I have a gold mine of top ten ways and things just for your pleasure written and compiled by me. Every time u have a problem in life you can refer to this document, if you don’t find a solution you will definitely get a few laughs.

 

TEN Corny Pick Up lines
1. I have sexy armpits. Want to see?
2. Say yes or I'll follow u home.
3. I have been with 17 women so far.18 is my lucky number.
4. You look tired how about some vitamin mE.
5. My therapist says I'm ready to date now. You want to give it a shot.
6. You look just like my mother.
7. Wanna play CPR-CPR.
8. Have we met before? That cleavage looks familiar.
9. You must be against non violence coz baby you are a bomb.
10. Thank your luck I am on a diet honey, coz you look so delicious today.


Ten Reasons why a Christmas Tree is Better Than a Woman
1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
2. A Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
3. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
4. A Christmas tree never asks to be taken out.
5. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
7. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and
have it hauled away.
8. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
9. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
10. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck

One thing a Christmas tree doesn’t do though is give one a hard on.

TEN Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your hanky to other passengers.
3. Shave.
4. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral
5. Do Tai Chi exercises.
6. Take A vow to become a Buddhist, and start chanting OM MANI PADME HUMMM, pretending u are entering a trance.
7. Blow spit bubbles.
8. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
9. Bring a chair along.
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Top Ten Condom Ad Slogans
1. No glove, No love.
2. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
3. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it
4. Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
5.. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
6. Cover your stump before you hump.
7. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
8. While you are undressing venus, dress up your penis.
9. She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.
10. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey

So do u promise to wear one next time??

Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Man Say
1. Great, your mother’s coming to stay with us again.
2. Sometimes I just want to be held.
3. Its late, put your clothes on and I’ll take you home.
4. Sure, I’d love to wear a condom.
5. Honey, I’m going to the store, do you need more tampons?
6. No way, you weeded the garden last week, it’s my turn.
7. I understand.
8. This movie has too much nudity.
9. Damn, we’re late for church.
10. No, I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.

Top Ten Ways To Kill Time
1. Blow Helium into condoms and release them over times square.(good for 3 hr 20 mins)
2. Tie the pope's speech against condoms, to the baloons.(another 3 hrs)
3. Continue reading this article.(13 mins 12 seconds)
4. Write one like this your self.(6 mins)
5. Pretend you are jordan and slam dunk paper balls into the waste basket.(10 hrs)
6. Write hatemail to this site and to MSN.(2hrs 20 min 10 secs)
7. Come up with ideas on how to sell your toilet brush on the Tele Shopping Network.(7 months to a lifetime)
8. Get a bottle of ice tea, take small sips and churn around in your mouth and spit back into the bottle.(12 hrs)
9. Learn names of Pakistani dishes (additionally you can memorize names of Paki. cab drivers.)(200 minutes)
10. Watch Janet Jackson baring her breast in slow motion 101 times.(3 hrs+ 10 hrs for eye strain to heal)

Believe me I have tried each of the above and they work very well.

 

Ten Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work
1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It encourages carpooling.
3. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
4. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
5. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
6. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
7. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
8. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
9. It makes everyone more open with their ideas
10. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

Surely now at least the needs of us, employees, will be more sensitively addressed.

Well guys that article on my visit to a psychiatrist is on a hold .Trying to make it more spunky. So long till next time and keep visiting this site coz it is certainly there in the top ten coolest sites.



--Sid--

 


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