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A peek into Saddam's cell

A small boxy glass opening on the cell door, which lends a miserly view to the inside. Man…. this sucks! You say we going to take a peep inside one of the world's most dreaded dictator's cell and you can't even see a thing. Buzz off freak, you'd say, but hang on right there buddy, because our story hasn't even begun

Infact, before it begins, a word of caution for the ones' with the feeble heart. Please consult your doctor before you go through this.

It all started just after Saddam was moved into this cell. The cell's candid camera caught *REM activities through its third eye. All these movements were found to be at their active best only during the night. After three days of extensive peeking our third eye located the source. Guess what??? It was his beard. And, the reason??? Well lice. Lice??? That beats you, doesn't it. Never you mind, I too went through the same feeling when I was briefed the first time.


The CIA dropped by. So did the FBI, and the lesser mortals from the world of intelligence. They named it "Mission Jailhouse Rock". Speculations, of all shapes and sizes poured in. Could he be training the lice to carry the message of jihad forward? Or, had he actually gone through a spiritual transformation, and was planning to make an industry out of lice breeding which in turn could save thousands of starving monkeys out there? There were speculations galore. And, standing face to face with the crisis, the unanimous call of the hour was to put the Lice Dialect Decoder (LDD) into use. Within an hour's time a hair (LDD) was planted in Saddam's beard. And, the rest, well of course, is going to be history. Primarily because, this is the first forum wherein findings of The Mission Jailhouse Rock is being revealed. Out of the 1080 hrs. of LDD recording only 42 hrs. of vital information is being made public. Excerpts of which are as follows:

Lice 1: Was MJ actually involved with the kid?
Lice 2: What do you mean involved with the kid, what on earth do you expect a kid to do. A kid would be involved with another kid. And, what's the harm in that….

Lice X: Have you heard Puff Daddy is trying to woo Jlo back with diamonds?
Lice Y: Am getting worked up
Lice X: But why?
Lice Y: Well Saddam hung her posters all over his palace, Ben gave his gelled hair appearance in her video and look at me, and I've been sitting here on my fat ass depriving so many probable lice of their lives.

Lice A: Did you hear, Pamela says she has lost her appetite?
Lice B: Don't tell me, now what is she going to survive on, …….us?
Lice A: Bozo, she's lost her appetite for sex.
Lice B: God save the world.

Coming back, and saving you guys from this nerve wrecking exercise:-
After extended hours of brainstorming, Saddam was finally given a shave. His beard was burnt off, as few top sleuths believed that all these conversations were encrypted and were beyond speculation for the time being. Off the record, one lice still survives in the NASA laboratory. You all know why. But, before I sign off, the most interesting twist is that, this surviving lice seems stuck on to one song from the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, you guessed it right, it's Shut Up, Shut Up, Shut up…….

*Rapid Eye Movement (REM)


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