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LIFE SUCKS !

 

If anything can go wrong it will. This is the foundation stone of the whole Murphy philosophy. And probably the most accurate philosophy too, a philosophy that actually depicts the condition of us poor humans here on earth.

Murphy says that a toast will mostly fall the butter side down. And the odds of it doing exactly that escalate with the cost of ur carpet. A brilliant observation and so true. SO TRUE..

Life is a series of accidents waiting to happen, with an occasional thing that will bring a smile to ur face and a bit of respite(like this article).The odds against things going one's way are so heavily stacked that not only do things go wrong when they can, they go wrong even when they can’t. And as Murphy states that if there are 4 possible ways for something to go wrong and you manage to circumvent these a fifth way will promptly develop soon after. And no matter how much care you might take in avoiding it, the Murphy law will take effect. That’s the beauty of it all. There’s just no escaping it.

So lets move on to see what the master of tragedy has to say about love:

• All the good ones are taken.
• If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
• Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
• The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
• If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
• Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
• Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
• Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

So the next time your love life ends in a disaster you can blame the murphy’s laws.


Here are a few commentaries and laws on computers(man this guy Murphy really is inexhaustible)

• If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
• If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
• Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
• Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
• Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.
• When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.
• If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.
• The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
• The troubleshooting guide contains the answer to every problem except yours.
• If you make the letters in your Word document bigger and then you print it out, you'll have everything on the first page and only one line on the second.
• And here’s an additional law by me sid –When in doubt blame microsoft.

Do you know the Murphy law of research? Which if extended is also the law of all truth. Enough research will support what ever theory.


A few mothers laws now(Couldn’t exclude them. now, could I)

• Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't..
• If you can't remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn't.
• Anything you do can be criticized by your mother - even doing nothing.
• You can't "out mother" your mother. Don't even try.
• Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
• No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that mother will not offer you more food.
• You never are as good as other people's children.
• The more expensive the gift you give your mother, the longer she will "save" it before she uses it.

Murphy on Cops-

• Bullet Proof vests aren't.
• The number of years on the job is directly proportional to your waist line.
• Nobody needs a cop while the cop is around.

And one last set of laws that caught my eye-Politicians (how did I ever miss them in the first place god knows…)

• No matter who gets elected, Government always gets in.
• We could do worse, we always have.

I wish I had gotten hold of some Laws about lawyers,but alas I couldn’t. As a final farewell just remember the Murphy philosophy…Smile, tomorrow will be worse.




--Sid--

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