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Outsourcing Toilets From India!
"When you consider the contributions that toilets make to the quality of our lives,
then much of the other things that we do just seem so much less significant."

Quote 1883 source anonymous

One thing i have noticed with the scriptwriters - a standard way of portraying the war of the sexes is to show a wife complaining to her husband for not keeping the Toilet seat down.. (don’t worry this is not yet another article on man and woman relationship). I have found this to be rather amusing. Though on my own I have never paid much attention to the issue I have not been able to understand the obsession the first world countries have with Toilet seats. And I am only guessing here because I would never actually make this an issue of contention with people I know(lest the final strand holding my sanity be deemed broken).

Flying from New York to half way across the world,and viewing the contrasting toilet habits in the bustling cosmopolition city of Mumbai,the buisness and movie center of a nation of a 1000 million(whew), it strikes you -the different cultural habits that can be acquired staying in different places ,evolving customs and rituals on the basis of sheer need. It would be interesting to retrace the acquired toilet habits in different places.


Focusing ofcourse solely on Loo-istic behaviour here one doesn't find it a lot different at the airport or a 4 star hotel that are well suited to the needs of foriegners. But if u delve in to local habits one finds that they are quite different from the way the Englsih or the Americans do it. The concept of using a tissue paper would be totally alien to most Iindians. The traditional way of cleaning one's ass after completing the act is to use a mug full of water. The actual process being that u hold the mug in one hand and and use the other for the actual cleaning. I wonder if it isn't the more sanitable option, after all a piece of paper can't possibly clean it all of (otherwise we would be using tissue papers instead of showers even). The hands do get dirty ofcourse but thats why you have soaps.

I guess if that is the case then the First Worldian's probably like to have clean hands trying to keep them completely unscathed while the larger part of Indians probably likes to keep their asses spik and span.

If u go across India you will find more interesting Loo-Istic behavior. While for most Indians having a private bathroom itself might be a distant dream with most of them making do with standing in long lines with mugs of water in hand or quietly going outside to the nearest isolated place with sufficient bushes and trees to give the necessary cover though they won’t necessarily hesitate even if its in open view. The sitting arrangement is to sit on ur haunches (probably the most authentically human way of excreting ). And infact this is also the arrangement that is used in a lot of Indian houses with the western pot as they call it probably less preferred to the tiled hole with slabs on the side.

A more recent innovation it seems in India is where the need for a mug full of water is obliviated and the water comes in from a pipe fitted into the pot to aim at ur crack.

It woudlnt at all be a bad idea to review our toilet habits and see the benefits of alternate ways of of handling our selves on the toilet seats. Maybe the the toilets themselves need a change. Many a yoga magzines have started advertsisng these tiled toilets where u sit on ur haunches hailing it to be anti-constipatory. And with all things indians barging in to the rest of the world it only seems right now to out source toilet habits from India, besides the computer whiz's and cab drivers.

I am set wondering now as too what the Chinese do (very little literature is available on communist shitting habits). I guess as for the rest of the world it would be right to assume that they follow the First world Loo-istic style. Maybe with the exception of Africa with their black butts and all and Pakistanis surely blowing nuclear bombs just below their asses to piss India off. A more recent video footage shows Osama firing an AK-47 to clean his butt.

As my my job is then I have given all you a little tidbit to chew on(eeeuww) while u are in the loo the next time.

-- Sids --


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