Harry
did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into
bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with
an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his
bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?.. and who
are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I
am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die..
I'm too young." said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want
you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter, "you
can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your
own..."
Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that
being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice
and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be
that bad.
"I want to return as a hen." Harry replied. And
in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really
nicely feathered.
But man, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna
blow.. then along came the rooster.
"Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he
said. "How does it feel?"
"Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear
end is blowing up."
"Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only
the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??"
"No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for,
and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!"
So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe
that there was yet another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
"Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all
over the bed.
